October 21, 2016. That's the day I drafted the last blog post I wrote on this site - indeed, it's the last time I looked at the site for a long time. I had just posted about making the second issue of my lit mag, Hapax, a labor of love. I had also been in the process of submitting works and publishing. If I look at my current CV, there is a long gap between then and now, gracefully punctuated by a few small activities.
As you may know, my relationship ended in 2017 and I had to change everything. I got a new job, moved twice, started a new relationship, and adopted a new cat. Between the end of 2016 and the end of 2017, I became depressed and unmotivated. I finished my degree in December and continued writing a novel, continued sustaining the guild and my online relationships, and that was about it. I lacked the confidence to do almost anything. There were bright spots in that time, accomplishments and celebrations, highs in my relationship, but also a lot of lows.
After settling into my new job and new living situation, I became obsessed with working. I wanted to make up for all the time when I hadn't been productive, particularly in that lost year. Finally, in October 2018, I began to take language lessons. It proved to me that I could make time for other things besides work (even though I use language skills at work). To be honest, I went a little crazy, but I learned a lot.
The biggest lesson was how to harness my previous experience and education. Everything I had studied in the past, from business ideas to freelance development, to being creative and setting goals, became relevant. I feel blessed because I use some facet of what I learned every single day - from Latin verbs to reading and understanding statistics to web design and more.
Finally, I decided I wanted to write again. I've developed a daily practice of writing and being creative, squeezing time from my carefully-managed schedule in order to write. I'm happier now and I have a lot of works in progress as well as some publications past and future to look forward to. The last part of getting back to writing was restoring a public face to the world. That means resurrecting and polishing my website, my Twitter, and, of course, this blog.
It hasn't been easy or perfect, but I think I'm ready to continue creating. I hope to update this blog at least once a week. I'm planning to do Campnanowrimo next month to generate work. And I want to continue engaging with all of you. Thank you for supporting me for the past few years and being patient with me. I hope to talk soon.
After a quick thank you to Grub Street, you may have noticed that I'm still alive following my "sorry but busy" post from earlier this month.
I have not had much time to write or do any type of work, because moving into our new place has raised some optimization problems that required me to call in the cavalry--in this case, my mother, who will be flying out tomorrow to help. Our new apartment has a lot of features and, unfortunately, some bugs. (Thankfully not the real kind).
However, this also means that I have to juggle working with entertaining/enabling/unpacking/cleaning/troubleshooting new apartment. I'm determined to squeeze in work and upkeep, especially since I have a busy work-heavy June and doing even a bit this week will lighten that load.
Anyway, I've been sharing personal and some interest-related posts to Facebook and others on Twitter, but Facebook doesn't seem to like posting links from Weebly very much (ie, it hides them in the news feed). So, I'm here, and probably posting even if you don't see notifications.
I have a lot of travel coming up, but I hope that my schedule will sort itself out soon. Lately, when I stare at the blank blog post screen, I have no idea what to write. That's not a function of having run out of things to say; rather, it's a testament to how drained I am. I know I have a lot of cool concepts that I'd like to explore, but also that I don't have the energy to execute them.
Of course, in a world where you're supposed to post regularly, that lack of mental energy has become a source of stress in itself. However, I hope to turn the corner soon. I spent two hours yesterday researching travel plans and a lot of time brainstorming and writing this week's blog posts, only to come up empty on both fronts.
So, I hope your week is going better than mine, and that once I emerge from this mid-May madness, I can recapture my blogging pace.