I haven't felt very productive in the past weeks. Ever since Hapax and my adoption piece in |tap|, I've accumulated a feeling of exhaustion that won't go away despite trying to push through. However, I don't have anything to show for my struggles except for a few key things:
1. The guild is stable.
2. I am stable.
3. I feel in my bones that a storm of productivity is coming.
(1) was the item on the list that plagued me in early July, as Aisthesis suffered its worst setback in a long time. I'm going to write a series of posts about the guild and its history, inspired by a post on our forums asking for reminiscences, but the truth is that when something is not quite history yet, it is often too painful and divisive to write about without stirring up drama or hurt feelings.
(2), of course, should need no explanation. After a lot of time spent on intellectual pursuits, the emotional worry of a very personal piece coming out in |tap| and a literary journal curated by me personally, along with a vast underestimation of the ins and outs of putting together a literary magazine, drained me. That this all occurred at the same time as (1) should speak to the vast absorption of my emotional, physical, and mental self in the odd way that life likes to stack peaks and troughs.
(3) is just a feeling I have, but it's often a correct one. I know the pressure has been piling up, but I also feel that creatively I am just gathering resources for my creative output. However, at the end of each day, I am not satisfied by what I have done during that day, even if I know that lightening up is good for me.
So, today is the time to turn the page and start writing, start creating, check in on those photographs I never post-processed, and try to do the best I can for this month.
Cheers! I hope everyone is having a good month.
I wrote a piece about adoptee identity for |tap| magazine that they published this week. It was a difficult piece to write, but I'm proud of the result. Although it's been years since I lived in South Korea, my piece helped me contextualize some of my struggles and pain around that time in my life.
I hope that you read it and comment to let me know whether you liked it!
After a quick thank you to Grub Street, you may have noticed that I'm still alive following my "sorry but busy" post from earlier this month.
I have not had much time to write or do any type of work, because moving into our new place has raised some optimization problems that required me to call in the cavalry--in this case, my mother, who will be flying out tomorrow to help. Our new apartment has a lot of features and, unfortunately, some bugs. (Thankfully not the real kind).
However, this also means that I have to juggle working with entertaining/enabling/unpacking/cleaning/troubleshooting new apartment. I'm determined to squeeze in work and upkeep, especially since I have a busy work-heavy June and doing even a bit this week will lighten that load.
Anyway, I've been sharing personal and some interest-related posts to Facebook and others on Twitter, but Facebook doesn't seem to like posting links from Weebly very much (ie, it hides them in the news feed). So, I'm here, and probably posting even if you don't see notifications.